Andrew Lam of New American Media has an interesting article on Alternet about the self-esteem movement that could be considered kind of a counterpoint to J. Peter’s recent post about the sometimes insanity-inducing pressure some Asian kids feel to be academic superheroes. I think both Lam and J. Peter make some good points about two extremes and their consequences. The academic pressure-cooker felt by many an Asian or Asian-American student has seemingly led to incidents of violence, suicide and fraud (see links in J. Peter’s post). Meanwhile some researchers in Lam’s article point to the American self-esteem movement for creating a “MySpace generation” of narcissists (also capable in my opinion of horrific behavior).
I’ve lived a little of both worlds but not under any one extreme. I did feel like it was my obligation to do well in school and I’ve only been told once in my life (by my dearly departed Tita P), “I’m proud of you.” I admit it felt both very gratifying and very foreign. Because such direct praise was novel to me, I often wondered why my white friends sometimes got paid (on a sliding scale – B’s were still worth something!) for good grades. Paid for good grades?! When I told my family about this phenomenon, laughter ensued. I mean, serious, belly shaking laughter as well as head-shaking and talk of those crazy American parents. I wonder, do those friends of mine now suffer from narcissistic tendencies and hideous myspace layouts? I know that I still suffer from sometimes overwhelming guilt over not having exactly followed the traditional college-degree, profiteering route, but I’m not about to go psycho (any time soon). Nor do I resent my family for not lavishing me with praise for the times I did do what was expected of me.
What do you think? Did you grow up under either extreme i.e., impossibly high academic expectations or constant praise for merely existing?
