When the going gets tough as an Asian American, I find it’s good to remember that sometimes we, as a community, just totally rule. This week, my spirits were down after learning that the awful man who caused the security ruckus at Newark Airport was Chinese. Come on, Jiang. We’re cooler than that. We don’t NEED to give that extra hug goodbye. Play hard to get! So I comforted myself with the knowledge that regardless of such idiocy, we still had a reason to celebrate ourselves. A new King of Donkey Kong was announced and his name is Dr. Hank Chien.
Yeah, that’s right. Move over, Billy Mitchell with your badly designed ties and fake hot sauce empire. You, too, Stevie Wiebe but take your time. You earned a soft spot in my heart after watching the documentary, King of Kong, and I still really like you. A lot. Let’s do lunch or something.
The nerd spotlight is all over Chien who scored a whopping 1,061,700 points on the arcade game, a top win that was confirmed by Twin Galaxies, who calls themselves the “official electronic scoreboard” for videogame player rankings and tournaments. Don’t think this is his only feat.
“It’s something to add to my resume and it’s something I can be proud of,” said Chien, who holds a computer science and mathematics degree from Harvard University and is a graduate of Mt. Sinai School of Medicine.
Not only does this guy suddenly pick up the arcade game after watching Mitchell and Wiebe duke it out in their infamous documentary, but he also boasts a Harvard degree and can fix up your face as a plastic surgeon. Is this a prime example of an over-achieving Asian or what? Apparently Chien found a natural affinity for the classic Donkey Kong.
“Donkey Kong requires reflexes, it requires strategy, it requires foresight planning and timing,” Chien said. “It requires everything, which is the beauty of the game.”
Ah yes, Grasshopper. It is all in the mind. Okay, I’ll stop now. Congratulations, Dr. Chien! We rule!
