Step Up 3D Is Dance Porn You’ll Enjoy

Is it really necessary to have a third installment of Step Up ? Apparently yes — and in 3-D no less! If this movie franchise made Channing Tatum a megastar, then it must be important.

Even though the movie’s plot doesn’t need an explanation (it’s secondary compared to the dancing), I’ll give you one anyway.

An awkward skinny dancing boy with curly hair by the name of Moose (Adam Sevani) steps out of Step Up 2 and into NYU with his BFF Camille (the Missy Elliott video kid dancer-turned-actress Alyson Stoner). While on an orientation tour, he accidentally gets thrown into a dance battle (no surprise there) where he shows up Kid Darkness (Daniel Campos) the b-boy from the bad-ass dance crew, House of Samurai.

There is a ruckus after the defeat and Moose gets rescued by the hunky documentarian/dancer Luke (Rick Malambri) who houses dance vagabonds (known as the Pirates dance crew) who are “following their dreams” in his living space/dance fun house once owned by his late parents.

We later learn that the house is up for auction and unless they come up with money, they will be kicked out. It just so happens that there’s a big dance competition where they can win the money to keep the house! What a coincidence! But there is one thing standing in their way: The House of Samurai, led by Luke’s arch rival and ex-friend, Julien (Joe Slaughter). Plus, Luke has a hormonal distraction of the mysterious sexy dancer, Natalie (Sharni Vinson).

Friendships are tested. Enemies are made. Love is put on the line. But all this pales in comparison to the power of dance!

The movie is a big sugarcoated slice of cheesecake drizzled with maple syrup – but it’s a sugar rush that is digestible.

Directed by John Chu (who also directed the sequel), the movie is like watching a super-trendy bubbly Coca Cola commercial combined with the splendor of Skittles advertisement and topped off with a dance party filled with So You Think You Can Dance alums. Even Glee’s Harry Shum Jr. reprises his role as Cable. It’s a 107 minute music video or episode of MTV’s America’s Best Dance Crew – which could have been shortened for sanity’s sake.

The movie keeps in the spirit of its dance predecessors: Breakin’, Breakin 2: The Electric Boogaloo, Center Stage, and other crispy sugary sweet confections of dance. All of them focused more on finding dancers who can kind of act – something which Step Up 3D excelled at. If you can endure the “dramatic” parts of the movie and find delight in the stellar dancing, than you may be able to enjoy this movie.

There are too many cheesy things to say in one breath, so I will do the exact opposite. I’m going to point out the most endearing part of the movie. No, it wasn’t a make-out scene between the two hotties (Malambri and Vinson); it was a modernized throwback routine performed by the normal looking kids, Moose and Camille. They danced down a Hollywood version of a New York City street to “I Won’t Dance” sung by Fred Astaire. It was sweet. It was genuine. It was musical. It actually pumped a little bit of soul into this cinematic dance machine. That was what made the movie a dance movie –but I’m not saying I didn’t like the b-boy battles, high school play-worthy acting, thrusting hips, ostentatious dance theatrics and gratuitous 3-D pop-and-lock-to-the-camera effects. All of those things are as enjoyable as a sticky and sweet Blow Pop….or porn.