Chinese 3D Porn Film to be Released in US Theaters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6V5j8ZYnRyM

For those three guys — trust me, I’m pretty sure they’re guys — who were ready to book a flight to Hong Kong after reading our discussion about Sex & Zen 3D: Extreme Ecstasy, the Chinese 3D soft-porn movie which shattered overseas box office records, you can breathe a little easier: SZ3DEE has now been purchased for North American distribution by China Lion Film Distribution. And note that when I say “breathe a little easier,” I actually mean “breathe a little harder but not try not to let anyone notice you’re breathing a little harder because the dude sitting next to you will be in the movie theater will be doing the same thing and that’s just awkward.”

While there’s currently no release date for the movie, the film distribution company states that they’re “currently working with our theatrical partners” such as AMC, which means that you San Francisco folks can just walk down to The Metreon to see Asian breasts on the screen instead of, you know, the Internet. People watching this in the movie theater will also have the luxury of watching giant 3D close-ups of keys going into locks and slowly rotating phallic objects like swords, since we’d like to remind you that this is soft core and tasteful, pervs.

So what say you, readers: Would you ever watch this movie, or would you tell your friends that this is a movie you’d totally never watch, and then casually show up for a Wednesday 10pm screening by yourself? Note that if you do watch this movie alone, 8Asians would like to gently suggest that you don’t sit in the very back row; you don’t want to be that guy, you know.