A Response to New Penis Size Survey That Ranks US 11th, Right Behind Japan

When the article, New Penis Size Survey: U.S. Ranks 11th. Right Behind Japan article came out it seems everyone I knew was sending it to me and saying I should write about it for 8Asians. For some reason, when people read about body parts and it mentions Asians or Asian Americans, they think of me. I’m not sure if I should be flattered or worried. I’m going with flattered.

For the record, I do have thoughts not related to body parts and Asians but I admit I do find them interesting/funny/disturbing.

On to this article. As the title of it clearly states, Japanese males have the tenth largest average penis size (from a sample size of 500,000 males), which is slightly bigger than the average American male. I read the article (so you don’t have to) but what was most fascinating to me was that males from Thailand had the biggest penis’ in Asia. Is this true? Can anyone confirm this? Hello? Anyone?

Before we get too excited (hahaha), keep two things to keep in mind about these findings:

1. The “research” was funded by a Japanese company that is the “manufacturer of the world’s most popular male-masturbation merchandise.” I don’t even know what that means and I’m not sure I want to know.
2. The results were based on self-measurement. The writer of the article suggests that maybe American men are more honest than Japanese men.

Am I saying that the results are wrong? No. But more importantly, why does it matter? Since I wrote my last article about Asians and penis size, I’ve had a baby (well, not me personally but you know what I’m trying to say). And if that experience taught me anything it is this: The whole point of the penis is to release urine and to procreate. And if that’s what it’s there for, it doesn’t matter if your penis is one inch or ten inches. Either would do the job just fine.

This article does bring up an interesting question for me: Why are Asians/Asian American so sensitive? Is it because of the stereotype? Is it because we don’t feel like we measure up to people of other races? Is it because we feel less of a “man” (whatever that means)?

I remember thinking a lot about these kinds of questions when I was writing The People I’ve Slept With. In the movie, the main character created “baseball cards” for all of her lovers. On one side of the card, it was the picture of the person she slept with and on the back were “statistics.” The statistics included the size of the man’s penis. This was a funny joke until it was an Asian American guy. As an Asian American filmmaker do I put that he has a small penis? Of course not. Do I put that he has an average size penis? No, that wouldn’t be interesting. Do I put that he has a large penis? Maybe. But would it seem like I’m trying to overcompensate? Again, maybe. Probably.

It should be noted that I ended up saying his penis was “huge.”

Let me also interject that one of the reasons it’s good to have Asian American filmmakers is that the last paragraph wouldn’t have come up if the writer (me) wasn’t Asian or Asian American. The easy joke is that Asians have small penis’ and I wouldn’t be surprised if a non-Asian writer went with that.

In the end, I want to reiterate the same message from every Asian body part article I have ever written: There is NO scientific correlation between size of a body part (any body part) and race. Like everything, there is a wide variety of sizes within every race. I know, you’re saying that you know that blah blah blah have the biggest and that blah blah blah have the smallest, but what you believe is just a prejudice and stereotype.