Fresh Off the Boat, Season 4, Episode 18: “Measure Twice, Cut Once”
Original airdate March 13, 2018.
Synopsis: Louis has second thoughts about buying Kenny Rogers’s half of Kenny Rogers’s Michael Bolton’s Cattleman’s Ranch. This frustrates Jessica, who’s sure it’s a good deal. Jessica accuses Louis of always overthinking decisions in his life, and she flies her psychic to Orlando from D.C. to spur Louis into action.
Evan gives up Live with Regis and Kathie Lee for Lent. His behavior annoys his brothers, so Eddie and Emery try to trick him into breaking his Lent commitment.
I been in the game for ten years making rap tunes: This episode is a good example of how well Constance Wu and Randall Park work together. They make little moments super believable even in the middle of a plot where Louis is literally a turtle and Jessica is literally a white infant.
I also like that Evan’s faith isn’t just something used once for the sake of an interesting plot a year ago. I often hear people claim that boys his age are incapable of having a serious faith, especially in non-religious families, but this just isn’t true, and the writers respect Evan’s adherence even while Emery and Eddie make fun of it. Yes, Evan is being silly in his earnestness, and older brothers will tease mercilessly about such things, but there’s a way to tell this story while respecting all parties, which this episode does.
That turtle sequence is absurd but pretty dang funny.
Lines I liked:
Jessica: You have to act first and apologize later, like I learned to do.
Louis: You never apologize.
Eddie: I can’t wait to be reincarnated. I know who I’m coming back as. The RZA.
Jessica: Pee or get off the toilet.
Ever since honeys was wearing Sassoon: What was up with the lobster subplot? It feels like something thrown in just to give Matthew Chestnut something to do.
FOB moment: This is a bit of a reach, but Grandma’s explanation of yin and yang is interesting. It seems unlikely that both Louis and Jessica would have come this far in their lives without already knowing this stuff, so that’s kind of unbelievable, but Grandma’s explanation is one of the best I’ve seen in pop culture.
Soundtrack flashback: I watched this three times and didn’t pick up anything, which is a disappointment in an episode where the RZA does a cameo. Geez.
Final grade, this episode: It feels like kind of a throwaway episode, but I laughed aloud at least five times on my first viewing (zero laugh-alouds on the next two), so it certainly doesn’t stink. C+.
This is a review for 
Synopsis: Eddie stuns his family when he announces he’s to be inducted into the National Honor Society. Evan isn’t surprised, but he’s furious with Eddie for not thanking him. Evan has secretly been supporting his brother’s good efforts because he’d like to visit him “at Stanford, not prison.” When Eddie says he doesn’t need Evan’s help, Evan schemes to set Eddie up for failure. Jessica, still getting notes from her editor for A Case of a Knife to the Brain, goes on a ride-along with police officer Bryson, in order to make her police language more realistic. She’s disappointed when Bryson’s work seems mostly to involve getting coffee and helping citizens bag their dog poop. Kenny Rogers tells Louis he’s going to sell back his half of Kenny Rogers’s Michael Bolton’s Cattleman’s Ranch, now dubbed Kenny O’Rogers’s Michael O’Bolton’s Cattleman’s O’Ranch in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day. Louis is overjoyed, but Kenny Rogers tells him he has to fire Matthew Chestnut, with whom Louis has developed a close friendship.
Know When To Fold ‘Em: This is just far too big a role for Bryson, who’s okay as a very minor character but annoying in anything larger. I’ve been glad to be rid of Mitch at Kenny Rogers’s Michael Bolton’s Cattleman’s Ranch, but Matthew Chestnut has been an equally irritating replacement. I would have welcomed his firing, but Louis keeps him aboard, which likely means we’re not through with him yet. Bleah.
